A Christmas Note to All My Viewers, I Thank You!

Hello, out there!

I haven't been blogging much here the last couple of weeks.

Hopefully, after the craze of the holidays pass, I will begin blogging more like before.

With that being said, I want to wish my audience the most beautiful holiday

or whatever you celebrate. May it fill your heart with a warm cozy feeling and an abundance of joy.

I send my appreciation, and my heart is so full of gratitude for you guys and girls.

Onward to a booming positively kick ass amazing 2021!

Wishing you an abundance of health and growth filled with adventure!

Happy New Year, Guys! Sending all my love and then some!

Virtual hugs, virtual hugs, virtual hugs!

*May you seek your inner being and glow from within *

~Kamie~

Happy Holidays and Merry Everything! (Insert Eyeroll) Wink!

Before I begin, totally unrelated to this blog, let me start off by saying that I am going to try to focus more on this one. Last blog for me was not what I wanted it to be, so let's get started!! I am going to try to keep this as light and positive as I can, but I am also going to keep it completely honest!

First off, I sincerely pray that everyone has a wonderful holiday. It's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but folks, I have to say, I am slap over the initial holiday part.

Here's why: I am sure we can all say that there's one thing for sure that has played a part in the difference in everyone's mood and the way things have been done this year. Her name is COVID. She sure didn't help things... so there's that! Furthermore, the cheer is just not there for me. It get's harder and harder each year! I have to work all day the day before and the day after! I swear, the holidays approach in the blink of an eye every year. You blink and... BAM! It's there staring you in the face!

It's ridiculous... I mean, can I breathe?? For me, I see Christmas in September even before Halloween, and let's just totally forget about Thanksgiving! RETAIL LIFE! By the time Christmas day get's here, there is nothing left. No Christmas spirit! I so don't like that feeling! Each year, it seems to get further and further away from what the holidays are supposed to be about. Working in retail doesn't help that either! I am thankful to be working, but long hours and extra early mornings catch up to you! I promise you, you gain a whole new perspective on how greed has taken over the meaning of Christmas and holidays in general: It's become commercialized. and quite frankly, a financial burden. The stress of buying the latest and greatest, the pressure of feeling as if you have to spend an unnecessary amount of money, and the disappointment that may follow just because someone doesn't approve of what they were gifted. That's always a plus! I've decided from here forward that gifts are not for me to go crazy over. The reason is that I've decided on simpler holidays and to let go of the stress. I simply want it to be typically time with family or friends if it works out that way... movies, hot chocolate, and food ! Of course, I will get a few cards out in the mail. Everything else is overrated! As long as I am cozied up with Alexa playing festive music and some hot chocolate, I am content! My focus will be on my kiddos moving forward getting something that they need and something that they want, and that is that! Cheers to the simpler holidays! I encourage a lot more of you to give it a try. It will save you a headache and financial stressers. I just want the joyful feeling back! Who doesn't ? I am getting too old! I just realized I am getting old.... Wow! The simpler things are really what makes you the happiest in life. I am learning that. Plus, I work for what I want and need. Gifts are fine and very much appreciated when they are recieved! I am not saying that... just don't lose focus on the true warm feeling of the holidays. Save your sanity! You owe that to yourself! Spread love and kindeness. Go help out at a soup kitchen or shelter and do good deeds! It will make your heart feel really good, and you will make someone else's holiday! I am going to aim to make that my goal next year... this year, if I can make it work! I have been really wanting to do a soup kitchen. I don't know... that's just really been on my heart for awhile.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my gift to you is to wish you peace in your hearts, food in your bellies, and the feeling of love not just for the upcoming year but throughout your life. Sending all of my love and the warmest of virtual hugs to all of my readers! May God bless you and carry you. Thank you for reading. I look forward to sharing the next blog soon, and I appreciate all of the support! Feel free to share! Thanks so much.

~Kamie~

Saying I Love You!

What a loaded subject! I love you... three little words that can mean so much but easily be overused at the same time. When growing up with my immediate family (mother, grandmother, and some other family members), despite challenges being with immediate family, one thing that was always there was my mother and my grandmother saying "I love you," which one would view as a positive but often times, as crazy or awkward as it may seem, I always felt annoyed at how easily and often it would be said. Why? I mean, I really don't have a good grasp on how to explain it, but I felt like a lot of times, not all times, but a lot of times, it would be said just to have something to say, or in certain situations around certain people, audiences, just to portray a positive in the midst of a negative situation. Sometimes, saying I love you was almost an act to prove something or to make up for guilt, I guess. That's my opinion with my own family. Maybe, it was to put on a front. It often felt like it was too easy for them to say I love you... like it didn't have meaning at times, and they just threw it out there to anyone... you know what I mean, not like strangers, but you get the idea. Possibly a way to draw people in, but not necessarily in a good way...not always bad... just had always come across as annoying to me . Now, I love to let people know that I love them, and I have a lot of love in my heart for other people. I like to think of myself as a loveable person, however, there are times, 8 times out 10, that I find it hard to say I love you to just anyone who says "I love you, girl" or "Love you, Kamie!" If we are being completely honest here, I find it the hardest to say to my immediate family. A lot of times, I ask myself, is that horrible? Why is it the hardest to say to family? Then I ask, do I love them? So, to answer my question, yes, I love them. I guess I just don't have the closest bond to them. Maybe that's why? On the other hand, with other people, I usually have to be pretty comfortable with you for awhile and be able to know you pretty well in order to say I love you and have it mean something. This doesn't mean that I don't care and that I am not concerned. I just find it easier for me right now as my own person to show my love in action. The picture that I posted on this blog describes me to a T, honestly! I will always make sure that somebody eats. I will always tell somebody to please be safe, be a listening ear. I have had several folks often tell me that I should always tell my mother that I love her, and I do, I just don't throw it at her all the time. That bond just isn't there, and I don't know if that has something to do with it or not! I am sure that it does, actually! I know that my mother loves me... sometimes, it just feels not so natural... almost like it's just something to say because maybe she feels like she has to say it because she's my mother. I don't know. I don't always say it back, honestly. Not because I am trying to be an ass, it's just not something that rolls off of my tongue.

Would it be crazy to tell you that I can say I love you to my foster parents easier than I can say it to my mother? Maybe, I feel like there's a maternal bond with them? Still, it's going to be a struggle more times than not. Is it weird? Am I the only one out there to have an issue like this? I care deeply.. all the time. I do. When I love, I love hard! There's love all around me in the form of a question- or statement- "did you eat today?" "please put a coat on and stop being stubborn" "text me when you get home" (something I will actually hear from my mother on several occasions) "I'll be ok. You take care of you" (this is one I say all the time).

I do want to have a special bond with that one person someday and be able to have someone to come home to and to say I love you to before I leave or before going to sleep and meaning it... without feeling like it's forced or just saying it because it feels like it should be said... I am so tired of questioning other's sincerity when they say I love you. When I feel comfortable enough to say it, no one will question the sincerity of my words.

I will stop here for tonight. It's been a long day. It's been really tough to blog lately, but I do hope that this blog flows well. I do look forward to writing my next one related around the holidays. Thank you for your support and taking four minutes out of your day to read my blogs. Always share and hit the subscribe button if you want to! It would mean a lot! I pray all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, even though it may have looked a little different this year! Until the next blog, that will be coming soon... take care and be well

XXX

~Kamie~